He's a happy kid most of the time. Picture: supplied
He's a happy kid most of the time. Picture: supplied

What happened when a child bit my son

COMMENT

My son came home with a bite mark on his arm and here's what I did about it: Nothing.

His arm was bandaged, he was smiling - I signed an incident report, which stated he didn't even cry at the time.

I have enough trust in his teachers to believe they handled it accordingly with the other kid.

Do I need to be upset about it even if he's not? Nah.

Do I need to place blame on the other child or his parents? No way. Because the truth is, children are wonderfully unpredictable little people.

For more stories like this, go to Kidspot.com.au

 

He's a happy kid most of the time. Picture: supplied.
He's a happy kid most of the time. Picture: supplied.

WHEN THEY VEER OFF COURSE

When kids decide to ditch our plan for good behaviour and take their teeth to someone instead, I've learnt the best way to handle it is to be relational, not reactional.

Meaning, how can I relate to the person in the wrong, instead of simply reacting emotionally to the wrongdoing?

And that's easy to do in this situation because all children are simply learning, mine included, and that deserves a degree of empathy.

I certainly never want my son to be hurt, but I also understand that we are raising children who have their own will and their own way, and sometimes that way is disappointing or needs correction.

The bite on his arm. Picture: Supplied
The bite on his arm. Picture: Supplied

NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE BITERS, HITTERS, OR PUSHERS

I can't name a single kid who hasn't needed correcting of behaviour, whether that's simply to not throw food off their tray or to pick up their toys.

We are all in the business of bettering our children, so in this situation, there shouldn't be blame.

As long as the parents and teachers are correcting the wrongdoing, offering the child a better alternative to biting, then my son was just a casualty of another child learning and growing, and I'm A-OK with that.

My son may have been on the receiving end this time, but he's also been the pusher of peers in the past.

I remember back then how awful I felt about it - not being able to control my child's unfavourable behaviour - and I would've given anything to have just one mum look up at me and say: "I've been there too. It's OK."

 

My beautiful boy. Picture: Supplied
My beautiful boy. Picture: Supplied

TO THE PARENTS OF THE CHILD WHO BIT MINE

It's OK, your child is learning. He's doing his best and so are you.

This wasn't bullying, or even intentional, it was a three-year-old who can't verbalise his frustrations and took it out with his teeth. Oh well, he will progress.

And in the meantime, you've given my son an opportunity to show his progression too.

Six months ago, he would've retaliated. Now, he took it in stride and went about his play.

He's fine - and your baby will be too.

We are on the same team.

Love,

A mother who's been there.

Stephanie Hanrahan is a blogger at Tinkles Her Pants. Continue the conversation with her on Facebook

This post originally appeared on Kidspot.com.au and has been republished with permission.